The new phrase I am carrying with me into my life, and I recommend other black folks do the same. — It is exhausting doing this black shit. Living. Waking up in the morning. Talking to people in different codes and different extensions of the code. Talking to white people, people of color, black people in different dialects. Bougie. Hood. Hood Classic. The Ghetto. The Streets. College Educated (but hasn’t forgotten…

Don’t mind me, I pushed away all my opportunities this week. By being desperate and weird and I’m going to push these ones away too. — So my mental illness has been acting up this week. More than it has in a long time. I don’t really have the strength to hide it. …

We all are targets. Capitalism wants us to worship at its white hot evangelical feet and to praise the dollar bill until we die. — I have no clue what is going on anymore. I feel like I have lucid moments where I try to grasp on to reality and hold my human meat suit together with safety pins and staples. Then the staples get loose and the manic depressive monster within falls out due…

I want to be over it. I was at my cousins graduation two days ago and someone began opening fire. I know I need to keep it moving as our American lord and savior capitalism tells us to do, but I can’t seem to shake it. — I can’t seem to shake the screams of terror. So close and sounding like the end of the world. I was holding on to my cousins bag when that sound was heard. I dropped it and ran. The school security then decided to lock the gates and put the school…

bi·o·de·grad·a·ble /ˌbīōdəˈɡrādəb(ə)l/ adjective (of a substance or object) capable of being decomposed by bacteria or other living organisms. — I was musing on biodegradability the other day. I was sinking into a deep depression which was actually just my ego deflating again. Sometimes it feels like its a death but it’s actually a moment where thought is at its most profundity. In this moment I google searched the words…

What are the weeds? The weeds are that area in your workplace, life, gym, place of worship, or anywhere where humans reside where there is mess. — Mess. Drama. Theatrics. Gossip. These things are prevalent in our society. This week there was chaos as my workplace. The bottomless pit of hell opened when someone made a judgement error which a lot of us thought was egregious. In that moment, when we all should have come together, it was suddenly every person…

So today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The day where white people sing we shall overcome and politicians pontificate about how he’s their favorite person. They will say all the easy quotes and meditate and misinterpret his legacy. — How should we as layfolk celebrate this day? How should we honor MLK on this day? Let’s start with a quote from Martin Luther King’s Letter from Birmingham Jail. “I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost…

Only when the queen deems your life worthy in her music video then you deserve your sad black existence. Other than that, you are no one. — Which Black Lives Matter? Only the ones you see on tv? Only the ones that fall into passing heteronormative identities? Only black lives that are middle class. Only black lives that are funny? Only black lives that can sing. Only black lives that are in a socio economic class where…

It has happened again. I see another friend with a new baby who can afford their own house and who is thriving. I see another person who is getting famous on the internet and has millions of followers. Another friend from my acting days is now nominated for a prestigious award, and where am I? — I am sitting in my room in the dark with a burning feeling inside of my chest. The jealousy feels like bile. I see another friend lost 30 pounds and has abs now. I used to have abs. What happened to me? Where is my pandemic glow-up? Where is my…