From Narcissistic Relationships to Narcissistic Bosses
So I stopped being attracted to Narcissistic people and now I have a new pattern where I am attracting/attracted to Narcissistic Bosses.
I remember my last terrible relationship choice. It was with a tech bro in San Francisco. He was really annoying and kept asking me to twerk on the date. He treated me like a stripper which sometimes I may or may not have been. Still unsure about that time in my life it’s all a blur. Anyway. I remember twerking to the song Don’t by Bryson Tiller and hating myself in his penthouse apartment. I remember having a full disconnection from my body. I was floating on the ceiling while he ogled my body and made me feel like a cheap steak.
I remember driving home in my Prius as he asked me to come to a work event with him where he would show off my legs to his coworkers. I told him no thank you. I got in my car and drove away. It was the first time I realized that this wasn’t the first tech date that went wrong that I was going on. I had done this several times. I had been in this situation where I compromised my own values for the sake of wanting to feel like I was attractive in the eyes of someone who was narcissistic.
I took several steps back after this. I took inventory of my mental state, went to therapy, changed my whole career trajectory and never was in a situation like that again. (So I thought)
As I did these things, I realized I wasn’t truly out of the woods relationally. As I still needed employment. I found myself working for bosses who were metaphorically asking me to twerk to the tune of grants and their own needs.
When your boss says: “I thought you liked your job.” In response to you not doing something off the clock, they may be a narcissist. When your boss texts you at 6:00 AM and tells you about a mistake you made and then writes you up for responding to said text before your shift time, they may be a narcissist. When your boss talks about all of their accomplishments and talks down every other person in the organization and fosters an energy of fear and sadness and thrives off of the pain of staff they may be a narcissist.